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New Jersey's New Slogan


(From Dan.)

Acting Governor Richard J. Codey announced the winner:

"New Jersey: Come See for Yourself."

Other finalists included:

1) "Most of Our Elected Officials Have Not Been Indicted"

2) "Jersey: Where Trash Gets Taken Out, but Not Women"

3) "Beaches. Syringes. What More Do You Want for Free?"

4) "You Can't Smell the Pollution in Most States"

5) "Jimmy Hoffa: Supporting the End Zone at Giants Stadium"

6) "Where Governors Don't Bend Over Backwards to Make You Happy"

7) "Our Water Contains all the Minerals You'll Ever Need"

8) "The Toll to Get Out is a Bargain"

9) "If You Can't Make it in New York, Try Jersey"

10) "Jersey: Someone's Gotta Live There"


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posted by Patrick 8:51 AM

Are You a Redneck or a Yankee?


(From Dan.)


To find out, go here:

http://www.alphadictionary.com/articles/yankeetest.html


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posted by Patrick 6:53 AM

Odd Facts

(From Pamela.)

* The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

* No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

* "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

* Almonds are members of the peach family.

* Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

* Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

* There are only four words in the English language which end in"-dous" tremendous,horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

* Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "L.A."

* A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

* An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

* Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

* In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

* Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

* The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life".

* A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

* A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

* It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

* The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

* John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.

* The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.


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posted by Patrick 9:29 AM

Another Threat to US Work Productivity

(From Tara.)

Whack-a-Penguin, for fun!


http://www.korenwolf.net/pingu/long-distance.html


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posted by Patrick 9:25 AM

Being Irish - American means...

(From Mal.)

* you will never play professional basketball
* you swear very well
* at least one of your cousins holds political office
* you think you sing very well
* you have no idea how to make a long story short
* you are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf
* there isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing
someone
* much of your food was boiled
* you have never hit your head on the ceiling
* you spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling
* you're strangely poetic after a few beers
* you're poetic a lot
* you will be punched for no good reason ... a lot
* some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations
* your sister will punch you because your brother punched her
* many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary ... and one is Mary
Catherine Elizabeth
* someone in your family is incredibly cheap ... it is more than likely you
* you don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing
* you can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking
* "Irish Stew" is the euphemism for "boiled leftovers from the
fridge"
* you're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in
talent, you make up for in frequency
* there wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last kegger
party
* you are, or know someone, named "Murph"
* if you don't know Murph, then you know "Mac"
* if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know "Sully"
* you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy
* you are genetically incapable of keeping a secret
* your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local
emergency room and last but not least ...
Being Irish means ...
* your attention span is so short that --- oh, forget it.


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posted by Patrick 9:14 AM

I'D LIKE THIS BACK IF IT APPLIES


(From Pamela.)

A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hiding
place in the closet.

She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times,
even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.

Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slipped
out the back door and made her way 6 blocks to Rexall's Drug Store with the big
red Indian Chief sign above the door.

She waited patiently for the pharmacist to give her some attention but hewas
too busy at this moment. Tess twisted her feet to make ascuffing noise.
Nothing. She cleared her throat with the most disgusting sound she could
muster. No good. Finally she took a quarter from her jar and banged it on the
glass counter. That did it!

"And what do you want?" the pharmacist asked in an annoyed toneof
voice. I'm talking to my brother from Chicago whom I haven'tseen in
ages," he said without waiting for a reply to his question.

"Well, I want to talk to you about my brother," Tess answered back in
the same annoyed tone. "He's really, really sick... and I want to buy a
miracle."

" I beg your pardon?" said the pharmacist.

" His name is Andrew and he has something bad growing inside his head and
my Daddy says only a miracle can save him now. So how much does a miracle
cost?"

"We don't sell miracles here, little girl. I'm sorry but I can't help
you," the pharmacist said, softening a little.

"Listen, I have the money to pay for it. If it isn't enough, I will get
the rest. Just tell me how much it costs."

The pharmacist's brother was a well dressed man. He stooped down
and asked the little girl, "What kind of a miracle does your brother need?"

" I don't know," Tess replied with her eyes welling up. Ijust know he's really sick and Mommy says he needs an operation. But my Daddy can't pay for it, so I want to use my money."

" How much do you have?" asked the man from Chicago.

"One dollar and eleven cents," Tess answered barely audibly.

"And it's all the money I have, but I can get some more if I need to."

"Well, what a coincidence," smiled the man. "A dollar and eleven
cents---the exact price of a miracle for little brothers. "

He took her money in one hand and with the other hand he grasped
her mitten and said "Take me to where you live. I want to see your brother and meet your parents. Let's see if I have the miracle you need."

That well dressed man was Dr. Carlton Armstrong, a surgeon, specializing in
neuro-surgery. The operation was completed free of charge and it wasn't long
until Andrew was home again and doing well.

Mom and Dad were happily talking about the chain of events that had led
them to this place.

That surgery," her Mom whispered. "was a real miracle. I wonder how
much it would have cost?"

Tess smiled. She knew exactly how much a miracle cost...one dollar and eleven
cents ... plus the faith of a little child..

In our lives, we never know how many miracles we will need.

A miracle is not the suspension of natural law, but the operation of a higher
law.. I know you'll keep the ball moving!

Here it goes. Throw it back to someone who means something to you!

A ball is a circle, no beginning, no end. It keeps us together like ourCircle
of Friends. But the treasure inside for you to see is thetreasure of
friendship you've granted to me.

Today I pass the friendship ball to you.

Pass it on to someone who is a friend to you.

MY OATH TO YOU...

When you are sad.....I will dry your tears.

When you are scared.....I will comfort your fears.

When you are worried.....I will give you hope.

When you are confused.....I will help you cope.

And when you are lost....And can't see the light, I shall be
your beacon.....Shining ever so bright.

This is my oath.....I pledge till the end.

Why you may ask?.....Because you're my friend.


Signed: GOD


YOU ARE REQUESTED TO SEND THIS LETTER IT TO AT
LEAST 10 PEOPLE, INCLUDING THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU.


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posted by Patrick 9:11 AM

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