archives

The Great Pumpkin

(From Mal, our correspondent on the Left Coast.)


The page below will be updated about once a week. Visit often to see the
progress!

http://www.sonic.net/~mal123/pumpkin.html


.

posted by Patrick 8:10 AM

Scrabble

(From Marian, or correspondent in Narrowsburg.)

This has got to be one of the most clever
E-mails I've received in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(wait till you see the last one)!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE



AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:


PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA:
When you rearrange the letters
(With no letters left over and using each letter only once):
TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS


.

posted by Patrick 8:02 AM

What Makes A Dad

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it ... Dad

Author is unknown


.

posted by Patrick 5:59 AM

Subject: Your Birthday

(From Bob.)

Age Gauge

This will really make you feel old....... Put your birth date in the pop up window after you click on the below link. What happens is pretty interesting. It's also amazing how quickly it computes!! Very cool. Send it on to all you think might like a bit of trivia!!

Click here:

< http://www.frontiernet.net/~cdm/age1.html >


.

posted by Patrick 6:32 AM

Lexophiles

(From John.)


1. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).

2. In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your
count that votes.

3. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

4. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

5. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

6. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

7. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

8. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

9. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

10. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.



.

posted by Patrick 6:23 AM

* * * BrainEmail Daily Triva * * *
==================================

(From John Babina.To JOIN the BrainETrivia list send a message to:
trivia-subscribe@brainemail.com)


-------------------------------------------------------------------

What is the origin of the phrase stool pigeon? Clay Pigeon?

Please Scroll down!

---------------------------------------------------------------------


Live pigeons were used to attract the now extinct Passenger Pigeons.
These decoy pigeons had their eyes sewn closed and were placed on
poles or perches called “stools”. Thus they became known as stool
pigeons. The term was transferred to people who lured criminals into
police traps.

[Passenger Pigeon lived in huge flocks and were very easy to harvest.
As a result, their numbers were vastly reduced and they ultimately
went into extinction. Apparently, the Passenger Pigeon needed to
have overwhelming numbers in their colonies to overcome their natural
predators. Even though tens of thousands were left over after
millions were hunted, the remainder could not survive. The last
Passenger Pigeon named Martha died in 1914.]

In the 1700s, the sport of trapshooting used live pigeons released
from “traps”. Later, as pigeons became scarce, artificial birds were
created to simulate the pigeons. These fake birds included glass
balls filled with feathers and iron birds on rods. Disk-shaped clay
pigeons were developed around 1870. The “clay” pigeon can also be
made from limestone & pitch.
The term clay pigeon can also be used for someone who is an “easy
mark”.

Bonus question: Where did the term skeet shooting come from?

The term skeet is derived from the Scandinavian word for “shoot”. It
was submitted in a 1926 contest to name the game of shooting clay
pigeons. The winner was Gertrude Hurlbutt of Dayton, Montana and she
got $100.
--------------------------------------------------------------------


.

posted by Patrick 2:29 PM

ANNUAL STELLA AWARDS

(From John.)

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards.
The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee
on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the
'Stella Awards' for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United
States.

THIS YEAR'S AWARDS GO TO:

5th Place (Tied)

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her
peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms.
Robertson's son.

5th Place (Tied)

19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses
when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th Place (Tied)

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just
finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage
door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could
not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage
locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson
found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of
Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's
insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury
agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The
award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a
little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the
fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.

2nd Place

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a
neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and
knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was
trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50
cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place!!!!!

This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home. On his
trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set
the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into
the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left
the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not
advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The
jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The company
actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case
there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles.


.

posted by Patrick 6:40 AM

home