archives

Some Interesting Statistics

(From Bob.)

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

There would be:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south
8 Africans

52 would be female
48 would be male

70 would be non-white
30 would be white

70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian

89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual

6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States .

80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer

When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.

The following is also something to ponder...

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness...you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ..you are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting with out fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death...you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep...you are richer than 70% of this world.

If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace ..... you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy.

If your parents are still alive and still married ... you are very rare, even in the United States and Canada .

If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you, and furthermore, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Sing like nobody's listening.
Live like it's Heaven on Earth.

Send this to a FRIEND.

Pass this on, and brighten someone's day.

Nothing will happen if you decide to not pass it along. The only thing that will happen, if you DO pass it on, is that someone might smile because of you.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

posted by Patrick 1:27 PM

Animals and Air Travel

(From Pamela, our correspondent in Bay Ridge.)

FYI - Resources if you ever have to travel with your pet by air.

I found my article that I have been saving forever on this topic. The suggestion is that you contact Independent Pet and Animal Transportation Association at

(903) 769-2267,

http://www.ipata.com. Hopefully these contact numbers are still good.

If it is a corporate move, you might be able to negotiate the price with the employer.

www.companionair.com,

http://www.frommers.com/cgi-bin/WebX?128@@.eebfa32

posted by Patrick 4:40 PM

WEEK AT THE GYM

(From Pamela, our correspondent in Bay Ridge.)

This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. >


> >Dear Diary...
> >
> >For my forty fifth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a
> >week of personal training at the local health club for me.
> >
> >Although I am still in great shape since playing on my college football
> >team 25 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and
> >give it a try.
> >
> >Called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named
> >Belinda, who identified herself as a 26-year old aerobics instructor and
> >model for athletic clothing and swimwear. My wife seemed pleased with my
> >enthusiasm to get started!
> >
> >The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.............
> >
> >Monday:
> >
> >Started my day at 6:00am. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well
> >worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for
> >me.
> >
> >She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair, dancing eyes and
> >a dazzling white smile.
> >
> >Woo Hoo!
> >
> >Belinda gave me a tour and showed me the machines. She took my pulse
> >after five minutes on the treadmill. She was alarmed that my pulse was
> >so fast, but I attributed it to standing next to her in her Lycra
> >aerobic outfit. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which she
> >conducted her aerobics class after my workout today.
> >
> >Very inspiring. Belinda was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my
> >gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time she was around.
> >
> >This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
> >
> >Tuesday:
> >
> >I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door.
> >Belinda made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the
> >air-then she put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the
> >treadmill, but I made the full mile. Belinda's rewarding smile made it
> >all worthwhile. I feel GREAT!!
> >
> >It's a whole new life for me.
> >
> >Wednesday:
> >
> >The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying on the toothbrush on the
> >counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a
> >hernia in both pectorals.
> >
> >Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop I parked on top
> >of a GEO in the club parking lot.
> >
> >Belinda was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other
> >club members. Her voice is a little too perky for early in the morning
> >and when she scolds, she gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
> >
> >My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Belinda put me on the
> >stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an
> >activity rendered obsolete by elevators?
> >
> >Belinda told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. She said
> >some other shit too.
> >
> >Thursday:
> >
> >Belinda was waiting for me with her vampire-like teeth exposed as her
> >thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being
> >a half an hour late, it took me that long to tie my shoes. Belinda took
> >me to work out with dumbbells. When she was not looking, I ran and hid
> >in the men's room.
> >
> >She sent Lars to find me, then, as punishment, put me on the rowing
> >machine - which I sank.
> >
> >Friday:
> >
> >I hate that bitch Belinda more that any human being has ever hated any
> >other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic
> >little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body I could move without
> >unbearable pain, I would beat her with it.
> >
> >Belinda wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And
> >if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the *&%#(#&**
> >barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich. (Which I am sure
> >you learned in the sadist school you attended and graduated magna cum
> >laude from.)
> >
> >The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition
> >teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach
> >or the choir director?
> >
> >Saturday:
> >
> >Belinda left a message on my answering machine in her grating, shrilly
> >voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing her made me
> >want to smash the machine with my planner. However, I lacked the
> >strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight
> >hours of the Weather Channel.
> >
> >Sunday:
> >
> >I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and
> >thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my
> >wife will choose a gift for me that is fun - like a root canal or a
> >vasectomy.
>
> _________________________________________________________________

posted by Patrick 5:08 AM

Seven Reasons Not to Mess with Kids

(From Pamela, our correspondent in Bay Ridge.)

1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "what if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "then you ask him."

2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "they will in a minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy named Patrick (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4. One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to the others on her brunette head. The little girl looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or be unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'there's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, he's a doctor.'" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "and there's the teacher, she's dead."

6. A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "cause your feet aren't empty."

7. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "take all you want. God is watching the apples."

posted by Patrick 4:49 AM

A RABID ROTTWEILER

(Submitted by various correspondents.)

Two boys in Boston were playing basketball when one of them was attacked a
rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off a nearby
fence, wedged it into the dog's collar and twisted it, breaking the dog's neck.
A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and rushed
over to interview the boy.

The reporter began entering data into his laptop, beginning with the headline:

"Brave Young Celtics Fan Saves Friend From Jaws Of Vicious Animal."

"But I'm not a Celtics fan," the little hero interjected.

"Sorry," replied the reporter. "But since we're in Boston, Mass,
I just assumed you were."

Hitting the delete key, the reporter begins again,

"John Kerry Fan rescues Friend From Horrific Dog Attack."

"But I'm not a Kerry fan either," the boy responds. The reporter says,
"I assumed everybody in this state was either for the Celtics or Kerry or
Kennedy. What team or person do you support?"

"I'm a Houston Rockets fan and I really like George W. Bush" the boy
says Hitting the delete key, the reporter begins again:

"Arrogant Little Conservative Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet."

posted by Patrick 5:58 AM

:):):)
SCRABBLE

(From Pamela.)

This has to be one of the cleverest E-mails ever sent.

Someone out there either has too much spare time or is a deadly Scrabble player.


GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

EVANGELIST: When you rearrange the letters:
EVIL'S AGENT

PRESBYTERIAN : When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW : When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS : When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES : When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO : When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE


Yep! Someone has waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands! But isn't that interesting!

posted by Patrick 5:18 AM

You know you're living in 2004 when...

(From Pamela.)
> >
> >1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
> >
> >2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
> >
> >3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
> >
> >4. You email the person who works at the desk next to you.
> >
> >5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they don't have email addresses.
> >
> >6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
> >
> >7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial
"9" to get an outside line.
> >
> >8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
> >
> >10. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
> >
> >11. Your boss doesn't have the ability to do your job.
> >
> >12. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are! more likely to get long-service awards.
> >
> >AND..............
> >
> >13. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
> >
> >14. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your
"friends."
> >
> >15. You got this email from a friend that never talks to you
anymore,except to send you jokes from the net.
> >
> >16. You are too busy to notice there was no #9
> >
> >17. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9
> >
> >AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself. Go on, forward this to your friends
> >....you know you want to.

posted by Patrick 3:35 PM

Cats and Dogs

(From Pamela.)

>What is a Cat?
>
>1. Cats do what they want.
>2. They rarely listen to you.
>3. They're totally unpredictable.
>4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
>5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
>6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
>7. They're moody.
>8. They leave hair everywhere.
>
>CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
>
>What is a Dog?
>
>1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of
furniture
>in the house.
>2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but
don't hear you when you're in the same room.
>3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
>4. They growl when they are not happy.
>5. When you want to play, they want to play
>6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
>7. They leave their toys everywhere.
>8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
>9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.
>
>CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats!

posted by Patrick 3:25 PM

How Many Dogs Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?

(From Pamela.)
>
>1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got
our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out bulb?
>
>2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's
not up to code.
>
>3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
>
>4. Rottweiler: Make me
>
>5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
>
>6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb!
Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please,
please!
>
>7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people
from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one
more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the
situation.
>
>8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off
the walls and furniture.
>
>9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a
light bulb?
>
>10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in
the dark.
>
>11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
>
>12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
>
>13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
>
>14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a
little circle .
>
>15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do
it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
>
>The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change
light bulbs.

>So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some
light, some dinner, and a massage?"
>
>ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS
HAVE STAFF.

posted by Patrick 9:18 AM

Who's Perfect?

(From Pamela.)


> Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a
perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.
>
> Their life together was, of course, perfect.
>
> One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their
perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of
the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
>
> There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to
disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded
Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along
delivering the toys.
>
> Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple
and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.
>
> Question: Who was the survivor?
>
> (Scroll down for the answer. Trust me, it worth it!
>
>
> |
> \/
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
> Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed
in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no
such thing as a perfect man.
>
> *** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke ***
>
> Men keep scrolling
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
> So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have
been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.
>
> Men keep scrolling
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
>
> |
> \/
>
> By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates
another point:
>
> Women never listen!
>
> --

posted by Patrick 9:01 AM

You Know You're from New York When...

(From EM, in the Carolinas, who have never really left NYC.)

You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.

You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats
available. You and the other three passengers look at each other and know you
have pure grit.

You take the train home and you know exactly where on the platform the doors
will open that will leave you right in front of the exit stairway.

You know what a "regular" coffee is.

It's not "Manhattan", it's the "City".

You get upset that a cabbie is obeying all the rules of the road.

There is no North and South. It's uptown or downtown.

You cross the street anywhere but on the corners ... and you yell at cars for
not respecting the fact.

You move 8,000 miles away, spend 10 years learning the local language and people
still know you're from Brooklyn the minute you open your mouth.

You return after 10 years and the first foods you want are a "real"
pizza and "real" bagel.

A 500 square foot apartment is large.

Your coworker commutes 45 minutes by train to a 2,000 square foot house in the
suburbs that was the same price as that same 500 square foot apartment of yours
that takes only 35 minutes to get to and you think he's a sucker.

You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.

You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able to
actually understand a PA announcement on the subway.

You have at least 50 menus in your apartment, two thirds of which you have never
ordered from or even heard of.

You wouldn't bother ordering pizza in any other city.

You know that off-the-shelf insecticides are just laughing gas to the
superior roaches cohabiting with you in the 500 square foot apartment.

You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the 4 major food
groups: Chinese, Italian, Mexican or Indian.

You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New
Year's Eve.

Your internal clock is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street
parking regulations are in effect.

You know what a bodega is.

You know how to fold the New York Times in half, vertically, so that you can
read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.

Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.

You don't even notice the nice lady walking down the road having a perfectly
normal conversation with herself.

You pay "only" $230 a month to park your car.

You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas.

The presidential visit is a major traffic jam not an honor.

Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you. (They take up all the
parking spaces!)

You can nap on the subway or bus and never miss your stop.

The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it is
beer.

posted by Patrick 5:06 PM

Is It a Stroke?

(From John.)

This was published in a monthly newsletter where a friend of mine lives and she sent it on.
I had never heard this advice before and hadn't a clue.

Perhaps you hadn't either and would like to file it away in the back of your head.

"Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify.
Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say any bystander can recognize a stroke asking three simple questions:

* ask the individual to smile.
* ask him or her to raise both arms.
* ask the person to speak a simple sentence.

If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call 9-1-1
immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. After discovering that a group of non-medical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems researchers urged the general public to learn the three questions.

They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke
Association's annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage."

PASS IT ON....

posted by Patrick 2:30 PM

ZERO GRAVITY

(From Pamela.)

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, on almost any surface including glass and at
temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Enjoy paying your taxes--they're due again.

posted by Patrick 3:53 AM

Election Limericks

(From Pamela. In the spirit of bipartisanship, we've done both candidates.)

"My Case" by John Kerry

I'll keep us from warfare horrific,
And you'll find that your sleep is terrific,
For I'm an uncommon ex-
Ample of Sominex:
My speeches are so soporific.



"My Case" by George W. Bush

I shout it in verbibage that will resignate:
Me as your leader you should designate!
At preventing wars nucular
I'd be spoctucular,
So this time, elect me as presignate!

posted by Patrick 10:55 AM

Irish Confession

(From Pamela.)

"Bless me father-- for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father, it is.

"And, who was the woman you were with?"

"Sure and I can't be tellin' you Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.

Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Patricia Kelly?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Liz Shannon?"

"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Morgan?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration.

"You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. You cannot attend church mass for three full months. Be off with you now!"

Tommy walks back to his pew.

His friend Sean slides over to his seat and whispers "well... what'd you get?"

"Three months vacation and five good leads."

posted by Patrick 10:18 AM

Kitty Cat Haikus

(From Pamela.)

> > The food in my bowl
> >
> > Is old, and-more to the point-
> >
> > Contains no tuna
> >
> >
> > So you want to play.
> >
> > Will I claw at dancing string?
> >
> > Your ankle's closer.
> >
> >
> > There's no dignity
> >
> > In being sick-which is why
> >
> > I don't tell you where.
> >
> >
> > Seeking solitude
> >
> > I am locked in the closet
> >
> > For once I need you
> >
> >
> > Tiny can, dumped in Plastic bowl.
> >
> > Presentation, One star;
> >
> > service: none
> >
> >
> > Am I in your way?
> >
> > You seem to have it backwards:
> >
> > This pillow's taken.
> >
> >
> > Your mouth is moving; Up and down, emitting noise.
> >
> > I've lost interest.
> >
> >
> > The dog wags his tail,
> >
> > Seeking approval.
> >
> > See mine?
> >
> > Different message.
> >
> >
> > My brain: walnut-sized
> >
> > Yours: largest among primates.
> >
> > Yet, who leaves for work?
> >
> >
> > Most problems can be Ignored.
> >
> > The more difficult Ones
> >
> > can be slept through
> >
> >
> > My affection is conditional.
> >
> > Don't stand up,
> >
> > It's your lap I love.
> >
> >
> > Cats can't steal the breath
> >
> > Of children. But if my tail's
> >
> > Pulled again, I'll learn.
> >
> >
> > I don't mind being
> >
> > Teased, any more than you mind
> >
> > A skin graft or two.
> >
> >
> > So you call this thing
> >
> > Your "cat carrier". I call
> >
> > These my "blades of death".
> >
> > Toy mice, dancing yarn
> >
> > Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
> >
> > You're an idiot.

posted by Patrick 7:07 AM

Dog on a Skateboard

(From Pamela.)

This is really funny, CLICK HERE. (Windows Media Player needed.)

posted by Patrick 5:22 PM

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