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Variation on an Old Joke
(From Pamela.)
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she
lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened
to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head
sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean, you haven't done
any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and
returned a few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's
owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to
bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later
with a beautiful cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the
bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said,
this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she
cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the
bill would have been $20, but what with the Lab Report and
the Cat Scan ..."
posted by Patrick 4:59 AM
MORALITY TEST
(From Pamela.)
With all your honor and dignity what would you do?
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. Please
don't answer it without giving it some serious thought. By giving an
honest answer you will be able to test where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation, where
you will have to make a decision one way or the other. Remember that your
answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please scroll down slowly and consider each line - this is important
for the test to work accurately.
You're in Florida...In Miami, to be exact... There is great chaos
going on around you, caused by a hurricane and severe floods. There are huge
masses of water all over you. You are a CNN photographer and you are in the
middle of this great disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot very impressive photos. There are houses and
people floating around you, disappearing into the water. Nature is showing
all its destroying power and is ripping everything away with it.
Suddenly you see a man in the water, he is fighting for his life,
trying not to be taken away by the masses of water and mud. You move closer.
Somehow the man looks familiar. Suddenly you know who it is - it's
George W. Bush!
At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take
him away, forever.
You have two options. You can save him or you can take the best photo
of your life.
So you can save the life of George W. Bush, or you can shoot a Pulitzer
prize winning photo, a unique photo displaying the death of one of the
world's most powerful men.
And here's the question (please give an honest answer):
Would you select color film, or rather go with the simplicity of
classic black and white?
posted by Patrick 4:47 AM
