Pamela's Page of Stuff

THE TAXMAN COMETH

(From Pamela.)

"The trick is to stop thinking of it as 'your' money." -An
unidentified Tax Auditor

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"[The Internal Revenue Code is] about 10 times the size of
the Bible - and unlike the Bible, contains no good news."
--Sen. Don Nickles

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"I like to pay taxes. With them I buy civilization."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

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"[The tax code] is a monstrosity and there's only one thing
to do with it. Scrap it, kill it, drive a stake through its
heart, bury it and hope it never rises again to terrorize
the American people." --Steve Forbes

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One taxpayer, who worked at a pest control firm listed his
occupation as "Hired Killer."

"When my mother makes out her income tax return every year,
under Occupation she writes in, 'Eroding my daughter's self-
esteem.'" --Robin Roberts

An IRS telephone assister was overheard to say, "Sir please
watch your language!...Sir, watch your language!...Sir,
please!...Reverend, I'm ashamed of you!"

In 1987, Congress required that the Social Security numbers
of all dependents age five and older be included on the tax
return. In that tax year, over 7 million dependents
disappeared from tax returns all over the country. Must have
been the largest case of mass alien abduction in the history
of the world.

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Along the same line was the couple who wanted to deduct the
cost of their daughter's wedding as a casualty loss. After
all, they reasoned, she really made a terrible mistake
marrying the man she did.