tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52969712011-07-14T14:28:58.745-07:00Pamela's Page of StuffA page where all of Pamela's quirky, skewed visions can be seen by the whole world.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comBlogger2671100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-81372765141802224632007-08-05T12:45:00.001-07:002007-08-05T12:45:48.618-07:00Obituary of the Mr. Common Sense (From John.)Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: 1. Knowing when to come in out of the rain 2. Why Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-33150285592023775152007-07-21T05:48:00.000-07:002007-07-21T05:49:03.841-07:00Importance of Proofreading(From John.)A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-53454801353580695092007-06-02T11:47:00.001-07:002007-06-02T11:47:26.948-07:00New Words for 2006 (From Pamela.)(Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)!)1. BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.2. SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.3. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb successPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-10391559804735291892007-05-30T16:14:00.001-07:002007-05-30T16:14:53.858-07:00Father's Day Gift Selection Made Easy(From Pamela.)Since the Father's Day is fast approaching here are the do's and don't of gift buying. Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you should have no problems.Rule #1When in doubt-buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-3499528887651104152007-05-28T05:31:00.000-07:002007-05-28T05:32:06.309-07:00How Smart Are You?(From Nora P.)Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately OK?Let's find out just how clever you really are....First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-68746330931366424322007-05-28T05:04:00.000-07:002007-05-28T05:05:10.813-07:00The Universe(From Pamela.)Try this web site and turn up the sound. This clever piece originated in Australia. It's also very informative. Just click once on the link below. Be patient. It will start by itself.http://dingo.care-mail.com/cards/flash/5409/galaxy.swf.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-70681632717812654082007-05-27T18:13:00.000-07:002007-05-27T18:14:12.641-07:00The Seamstress(From Pamela.)One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river,her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Mydear child, why are you crying?"The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water andthat she needed it to help her husband in making a living fortheir family.The Lord dipped His hand into the water Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-38791901376837178112006-12-31T10:01:00.000-08:002006-12-31T10:02:23.514-08:00Cinderella's Cat(From Pamela.)Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"? The fairyPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-72374457760749674442006-12-31T09:40:00.001-08:002006-12-31T09:40:44.132-08:00A golden oldie but still good...(From Pamela.)What to Give Mama...Four brothers left home for college and became successful doctors andlawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinnertogether. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderlymother who lived far away in another city.The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."The second said, "I had aPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1165168248966922772006-12-03T09:50:00.000-08:002006-12-03T09:50:48.970-08:00Subject: A Math Problem -- From 1950 to 2006(From Pamela.)Why The Kids Can't Make Change at Home Depot 1. Teaching Math In 1950 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Math In 1960 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 3. Teaching Math Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1165168061453291142006-12-03T09:47:00.000-08:002006-12-03T09:47:41.473-08:00HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION(From Pamela.)Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1165166663751520602006-12-03T09:24:00.000-08:002006-12-03T09:24:23.763-08:00*The Ten Commandments of Marriage * (From Gene.)*Commandment 1. *Marriages are made in heaven. But, so again, are thunder and lightning.*Commandment 2. *If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.*Commandment 3 *.Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!*Commandment 4. *Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1163449459756746572006-11-13T12:23:00.000-08:002006-11-13T12:24:19.770-08:00Modern Day Manners(From Bob.)During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asks the students: "Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice younglady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?""Just a minute, I have to go pee." "That would be rude and impolite! ! !" "What about you Peter, how would you say it?""I am sorry , but I really need to go to the Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1163193872464685712006-11-10T13:24:00.000-08:002006-11-10T13:24:32.476-08:00Job Description(From Gene.)One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up--fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, CPA, architect, engineer, political consultant, and so forth.But little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's anPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1162659403405409692006-11-04T08:56:00.000-08:002006-11-04T08:56:43.406-08:00Exchange between Two Superpowers(From Gene.)"It is said that, just before the Sino-Soviet split, Nikita Krushchev had a tense meeting with Zhou Enlai at which he told the latter that he now understood the problem. 'I am the son of coal miners,' he said. 'You are the descendant of feudal mandarins. We have nothing in common.' 'Perhaps we do,' murmured his Chinese antagonist. 'What?' blustered Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1162659083890315932006-11-04T08:51:00.000-08:002006-11-04T08:51:23.903-08:00Proof of Ownership(From Gene.)For our international colleagues, the FHA is the US Federal Housing Authority.Proof of OwnershipYou gotta love this lawyer - It's too good not to share! Everyone who has ever bought a house will enjoy this.A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to the parcel of property being Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1162131149265125432006-10-29T06:11:00.000-08:002006-10-29T10:53:11.120-08:00Texas Chili Contest(From Greta.)Warning: If you can read this whole story without laughing outloud, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end.Note: Please take time to read this. If you pay attention to thefirst two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is.They actually have a chili cook-off about the Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1160402827365011672006-10-09T07:06:00.000-07:002006-10-09T07:07:07.376-07:00READ EACH SENTENCE SLOWLY AND THINK ABOUT IT(From Bob.)Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.BEST FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to give us.When it hurts to look back, and you're Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1160228906353717192006-10-07T06:48:00.000-07:002006-10-07T06:48:26.366-07:00The Refdesk Site of the Day is:Animal Planet: Cat Guide The Cat Guide provides information on many cat questions such as “Why do cats land on their feet after a fall?” The Web site also provides information about cat care, choosing a cat, training a cat, and cat safety.-----Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1159622233314862492006-09-30T06:16:00.000-07:002006-09-30T06:17:13.326-07:00Danger While Fueling Your Car(From Bob.)The Shell Oil Company recently issued a warning after three incidents in which mobile phones (cell phones) ignited fumes during fueling operations In the first case, the phone was placed on the car's trunk lid during fueling; it rang and the ensuing fire destroyed the car and the gasoline pump.In the second, an individual suffered severe burns to their Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1159108574785138282006-09-24T07:35:00.000-07:002006-09-24T07:36:52.036-07:009 Things I Hate About Everyone (From Pamela.)1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.3. When peoplePatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1159054290220217982006-09-23T16:31:00.000-07:002006-09-23T16:31:30.233-07:00Blonde Joke(From Pamela.)A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades.She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way,but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude ofone of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just goout and Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1158512134389371532006-09-17T09:55:00.000-07:002006-09-17T09:55:34.406-07:00New Politically Correct Terminology(From Greta.)Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN." Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1157851433221425412006-09-10T18:23:00.000-07:002006-09-09T18:23:53.233-07:00School Teacher Arrested!(From Gene.)At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual laterdiscovered to be a public school teacher was arrestedtrying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler,a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.At a morning press conference, the attorney generalsaid he believes the man is a member of the notoriousAl-gebra movement. He is being Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1157811420961493502006-09-09T07:16:00.000-07:002006-09-09T07:17:00.976-07:00Long Island Barbies(From Pamela.)For anyone who is from LI, has visited, or just curious.... These are pretty accurate portrayals.-------------------------------------Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie dolls for the Long Island market: (this is Suffolk County Version)$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$Patchogue Barbie - This modern Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1156079436958692932006-08-20T06:10:00.000-07:002006-08-20T06:10:36.976-07:00Dogs Versus Cats(From Pamela.)DOG'S DIARY7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mum! My favorite!7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!8 pm Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1156078270264341882006-08-20T05:50:00.000-07:002006-08-20T05:51:10.276-07:00Tech Support(From Pamela.)Dear Tech SupportLast year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and FishingPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1156009382030432642006-08-19T10:42:00.000-07:002006-08-19T10:43:02.046-07:00Police Comments(From Gene.)The following 15 Police Comments were taken off of actual police car videos around the country.#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." #13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."#12. "Can you run faster Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1155480502008893502006-08-13T07:47:00.000-07:002006-08-13T07:48:22.020-07:00The New Alphabet(From Pamela.)A is for apple, and B is for boat,That used to be right, but now it won't float!Age before beauty is what we once said,But let's be a bit more realistic instead.Now:A's for arthritis;B's the bad back,C is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?D is for dental decay and decline,E is for eyesight--can't read that top line!F is for fissures and water retentionG is for gas, Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1154808680432290412006-08-05T13:11:00.000-07:002006-08-05T13:11:20.480-07:00The Value of a Drink (From Bob.)"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drinkI feel shame Then I look into the glass and thinkabout the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopesand dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be outof work and their dreams would be shattered.Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let theirdreams come true than be selfishPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1152455996681322322006-07-09T07:39:00.000-07:002006-07-09T07:39:56.693-07:00History of the Middle Finder(From Pamela.)I love history! LOL Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it? Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1152378727400866342006-07-08T10:11:00.000-07:002006-07-08T10:12:07.403-07:00Citizenship(From Pamela.)June 7, 2006The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes309 Hart Senate Office BuildingWashington DC, 20510Dear Senator Sarbanes,As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1152378260517694382006-07-08T10:04:00.000-07:002006-07-08T10:04:20.530-07:00Interesting Facts(From Bo.)The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.The first product to have a Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1152377071554395152006-07-08T09:44:00.000-07:002006-07-08T09:44:31.566-07:00Cell Phone Do NOT CALL LIST(From Bob.)This is very easy to register on line for both your home and cell number.REMINDER....16 days from today, all cell phone numbers are being released to telemarketing companies and you will start to receive sale calls. YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS. To prevent this, call the following number from your cell phone: 888-382-1222. It is the National DO NOTPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1152373835367362982006-07-08T08:50:00.000-07:002006-07-08T08:50:35.380-07:00This explains why we forward jokes...(From Pamela.)A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1152016279690284862006-07-04T05:31:00.000-07:002006-07-04T05:31:19.703-07:00HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1151854040189360452006-07-02T08:27:00.000-07:002006-07-02T08:27:20.203-07:00The Refdesk Site of the Day is:Yahoo! Answers Ask a question on any topic and get answers from real people.-----The World's Healthiest Foods The World's Healthiest Foods have been selected because they are among the richest sources of many of the essential nutrients needed for optimal health. Site uses a concept called nutrient density to determine which foods have the highest nutritional value. Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1151775483593211722006-07-01T10:37:00.000-07:002006-07-01T10:38:03.603-07:00Confession Is Good For the Soul(From Bob, our correspondent in Bay Ridge.)*An old man went into confession and told the priest:"Father, I'm 81 years old, married, with six children and 13 grandchildren. Last night I had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls. Twice.""I see," said the priest. "When was the last time you were in confession?""Never, Father", replied the old man, "I'm Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1151248853716698272006-06-25T08:20:00.000-07:002006-06-25T08:20:53.726-07:00A History Lesson in a Song(Thanks to YouTube.)We Didn't Start the FireThis Billy Joel song mentions events and persons from 1949-1989. A very talented young auteur has added images to match the words..Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1151248158994655582006-06-25T08:09:00.000-07:002006-06-25T08:09:19.006-07:00For Women(From Pamela.)Marriage - Part ITypical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1151246937647393862006-06-25T07:48:00.000-07:002006-06-25T07:48:57.650-07:00A Truly Heartwarming Story...(From Greta.)Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5 year old girl and some construction workers that makes you believe that we CAN make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time...A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1151243815023230512006-06-25T06:56:00.000-07:002006-06-25T06:56:55.036-07:00Comparative Economic Systems(From Pamela.)DEMOCRATICYou have two cows.Your neighbor has none.You feel guilty for being successful.Barbara Streisand sings for you.REPUBLICANISMYou have two cows.Your neighbor has none.So?SOCIALISTYou have two cows.The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.COMMUNISTYou have two cows.The governmentPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1151161356719709462006-06-24T08:02:00.000-07:002006-06-24T08:02:36.720-07:00A Terrifying Message from Al GoreAl Gore finally finds a job..Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1151160934087898442006-06-24T07:55:00.000-07:002006-06-24T07:55:34.106-07:00Cancer News from Johns Hopkins(From Pamela.)1. No plastic containers in microwave.2. No water bottles in freezer.3. No plastic wrap in microwave.Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its Newsletters. Thisinformation is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center.Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins arehighly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1151098880333571442006-06-23T14:41:00.000-07:002006-06-23T14:41:20.346-07:00FAST and Low(Thanks to Euphoric Reality.)Absolutely cool video!Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1150644582090275122006-06-18T08:29:00.000-07:002006-06-18T08:29:42.103-07:00HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!What Makes A DadGod took the strength of a mountain,The majesty of a tree,The warmth of a summer sun,The calm of a quiet sea,The generous soul of nature,The comforting arm of night,The wisdom of the ages,The power of the eagle's flight,The joy of a morning in spring,The faith of a mustard seed,The patience of eternity,The depth of a family need,Then God combined these qualitiesPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1150564909789778852006-06-17T10:21:00.000-07:002006-06-17T10:21:49.793-07:00Number One Song on the Day You Were Born(From Pamela.)Do you know what song was #1 on the day you were born? January birthdays February birthdays March birthdays April birthdays May birthdays June birthdays July birthdays August birthdays Setember birthdays October birthdays November birthdays December birthdays .Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1150564264157087772006-06-17T10:10:00.000-07:002006-06-17T10:11:04.160-07:00Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? (New Twist)(From Pamela.)DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that hemust first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his"CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.OPRAH:Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1150563782240622682006-06-17T10:02:00.000-07:002006-06-17T10:03:02.250-07:00Today Is National Mental Health Day! (From Bob.)You can do your bit by remembering to send an email to at least one unstable person.(Well..my job's done!)20 Ways To Maintain Mental Health1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and pointa Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.3. Every Time Someone Asks Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1150030361775872742006-06-11T05:52:00.000-07:002006-06-11T05:52:41.786-07:00Anagrams(From Bob.)This has to be the most cleverE-mail I've received in a long time.Someone out there either has too muchspare time or is deadly at Scrabble.(Wait till you see the last one)!DORMITORY:When you rearrange the letters:DIRTY ROOMPRESBYTERIAN:When you rearrange the letters:BEST IN PRAYERASTRONOMER:When you rearrange the letters:MOON STARERDESPERATION:When you rearrange the letters:A Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1149949193606427572006-06-10T07:19:00.000-07:002006-06-10T07:22:00.270-07:00Martha VS Maxine(From Pamela.)*Martha's Way*Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.*Maxine's Way *Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!====================*Martha's Way*To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1149948528155332802006-06-10T07:08:00.000-07:002006-06-10T07:08:48.366-07:00Highbridge in Da Bronx(From Dan.)Fond memories of an area in Bronx County, New York City:http://www.bobbalogh.com/.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1149371462133131702006-06-03T14:50:00.000-07:002006-06-03T14:51:02.133-07:00Housing Prices(From Pamela.)Well, I could probably afford a mortgage in these places, but who would want to?Lowest housing prices as per Money magazine:Lowest prices Danville, IL $64,000 Odessa, TX $65,830 Brownsville, TX $69,290 Waco, TX $76,297 Pine Bluff, AR $76,848 Elmira, NY $79,000 Utica, NY $79,646 Altoona, PA $80,033 Abilene, TX $81,176Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1149371186912091852006-06-03T14:46:00.000-07:002006-06-03T14:46:26.926-07:00Subject: Virus Alert(From Pamela.)There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand.This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If youreceive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via anymeans DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private lifecompletely.If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1148423594677546332006-05-23T15:33:00.000-07:002006-05-23T15:33:14.690-07:00401 Keg Plan FOR YOUR RETIREMENT(Thanks to John.)If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock at its peak, it would now be worth $49.00.With Enron,you would have had ZERO left of the original $1,000.00.With WorldCom,you would have had less than $5.00 left.But, if you had purchased $1,000.00 worth of Beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling REFUND,Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1148336430742097832006-05-22T15:20:00.000-07:002006-05-22T15:20:30.753-07:00Prison vs. Work(From Pamela.)IN PRISON...You spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell. AT WORK...You spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle. IN PRISON...You get three meals a day. AT WORK...You only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it. IN PRISON...You get time off for good behavior. AT WORK...You get rewarded for good behavior with more work. IN PRISON...A guard locks and Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1148174766102082852006-05-20T18:26:00.000-07:002006-05-20T19:03:59.560-07:00IrelandTime for a road trip.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1148079043013184212006-05-19T15:50:00.000-07:002006-05-19T15:50:43.023-07:00Hillary Takes Questions(From Bob.)Senator Hillary Clinton goes to a primary school in Ithaca, New York to talk about the world. After her talk she offers question time.One little boy puts up his hand, and the Senator asks him what his name is. "Kenneth." "And what is your question, Kenneth?" "I have three questions:First - whatever happened to your medical health care plan?Second - why would Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1148078174866831732006-05-19T15:35:00.000-07:002006-05-19T15:36:14.876-07:00Test for Smart People.....I have determined that you qualify.(From Pamela.)The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?The correct answer is: Open the Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147965855568007372006-05-18T08:24:00.000-07:002006-05-18T08:24:15.570-07:00On the Subject of Safe Sex...(From Anonymous.)My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra less. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147965486426273132006-05-18T08:15:00.000-07:002006-05-18T08:18:06.426-07:00Baseball Predictions(From Mal, our correspondent on the Left Coast.)http://tinyurl.com/lhz5n...and the A's are ranked #2 in MLB! And we take down the Yankees in theplayoffs! Gonna be fun!!!Notice the highest ranked NL team is the Cardinals at #6.Editor's Note: The A's beating the Yankees, give me a break!.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147965195534955102006-05-18T08:12:00.000-07:002006-05-18T08:13:15.546-07:00Presented For Your Enjoyment...(From Pamela.)Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin."- Lillian Carter (mother of President Jimmy Carter) I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."- Eleanor RooseveltLast week, I stated Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147898785881463422006-05-17T13:46:00.000-07:002006-05-17T13:46:25.883-07:00Can you read?(From Pamela.)If you can read this, you have a strange mind tooCan you raed tihs? Olny 89 plepoe can.i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.Thephaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch atCmabrigdeUinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are,theolny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147898509431037582006-05-17T13:41:00.000-07:002006-05-17T13:41:49.443-07:00AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT....(From Pamela.)Question: How many days in a week? Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch. Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one, but it might take all day. Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? Answer: There is not enough time to get Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147888885640052652006-05-17T11:01:00.000-07:002006-05-17T11:01:25.650-07:00Psych Test:(From Pamela.)Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to thebottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads.No one I know has gotten it right-including me.A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom shedid not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guyshe believed him to be just that! She fell in Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147781792273930122006-05-16T05:16:00.000-07:002006-05-16T05:16:50.833-07:00An Irish Friendship Wish (From Pamela.) Good Luck!! I hope it works...Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147781449562860912006-05-16T05:10:00.000-07:002006-05-16T05:10:49.580-07:00LITTLE PEDRO(From Pamela.)It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a recently immigrated Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. "Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good!" Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147704135676994592006-05-15T07:42:00.000-07:002006-05-15T07:42:15.690-07:00Phone Number(From Pamela.)Good trick. Beyond me why it works.1. Key in the first 3 digits of your phone number into a calculator (notthe area code)2. Multiply by 803. Add 14. Multiply by 2505. Add the last four digits of your phone number6. Add the last four digits of your phone number again7. Subtract 2508. Divide by 2 at lastIs it your phone number ??.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147614885949196142006-05-14T06:53:00.001-07:002006-05-14T06:54:45.950-07:00HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147614797564204522006-05-14T06:53:00.000-07:002006-05-14T06:53:17.576-07:00Why God Made Moms(From Marian, one of our correspondents in Narrowsburg.)"Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children to thefollowing questions:Why did God make mothers?1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.2. Mostly to clean the house.3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers?1. He used dirt, just like for the rest ofPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147517985275778452006-05-13T03:59:00.000-07:002006-05-13T03:59:45.276-07:00You Know You Work for the Government If...(From Eugene.)You sometimes lie ..........................when someone asks you where you work.You get really excited about ....................................... a 2% pay raise.Your supervisor doesn't have the ability........................to do your job.You sit in a cubicle ............................ smaller than your bedroom closet.Computer Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147517711036289082006-05-13T03:54:00.000-07:002006-05-13T03:55:11.036-07:00Official Announcement: (From Greta.)The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from anEagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government'spolitical stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production,destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives youa sense of security while you're actually being screwed.Damn, it just doesn't get more Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147516900140981252006-05-13T03:41:00.000-07:002006-05-13T03:41:40.150-07:00Falling Asleep in Meetings? (From John.)Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the card into columns--five across and five down. That will give you Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147426365827867922006-05-12T02:32:00.000-07:002006-05-12T02:32:45.840-07:00Hubble Telescope Presentation(From Pamela.)This has MUSIC, so turn your volume up. It is an incredible presentation of photos from the Hubble telescope. It will take about 4-5 minuteshttp://hytaipan.home.comcast.net/hubble640.html.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147392557266672562006-05-11T17:09:00.000-07:002006-05-11T17:09:17.276-07:00Real 9-1-1 Calls, believe it or not!! (From Pamela.)Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.Dispatcher: Do you have an address?Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.DispatcherPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147214241515146382006-05-09T15:37:00.000-07:002006-05-09T15:37:21.530-07:00Fun Things to Think About(From Coleman's.)1. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.3. The dot over the letter I is called a "tittle".4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and downcontinuously from the bottom of the glass to the top(75% OF YOU WILL TESTTHIS ONE).7. 40% of McDonald's profits Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147010170041518612006-05-07T06:55:00.000-07:002006-05-07T06:56:10.043-07:00Word Definitions(From Pamela.)It's that time of year again -- The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147009760133861262006-05-07T06:49:00.000-07:002006-05-07T06:49:20.133-07:00AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH (From Pamela.)Good Luck!!I hope it works...May there always be work for your hands to do;May your purse always hold a coin or two;May the sun always shine on your windowpane;May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;May the hand of a friend always be near you;May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.OK, this is what you have to do....Send this to all of your Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1147009372465419352006-05-07T06:41:00.000-07:002006-05-07T06:42:52.476-07:00SUNDAY SEX(From Pamela.)On hearing that her elderly grandfather had justpassed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent'shouse to visit her 95 year old grandmother andcomfort her.When she asked how her grandfather had died, hergrandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while wewere making love on Sunday morning."Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 peoplenearly 100 years old having Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1146930974829976242006-05-06T08:55:00.000-07:002006-05-06T08:56:14.843-07:00Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder(From Bob.)Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D.Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.This is how it manifests:I decide to water my garden.As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car anddecide it needs washing.As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that Ibrought up from the mail box earlier.I decide to go Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1146516536765447472006-05-01T13:48:00.000-07:002006-05-01T13:48:56.766-07:00Catholic Squirrels>(From Pamela.)There were four country churches in a small TEXAS town: ThePresbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church and theCatholic Church.Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.One day, the Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to doabout the squirrels. After much prayer andconsideration they determined that the squirrels were predestinedPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1146516104610722282006-05-01T13:41:00.000-07:002006-05-01T13:41:44.626-07:00Why God Made Moms(From Marian.)"Why God made moms" answers given by elementary school age children to thefollowing questions:Why did God make mothers?1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.2. Mostly to clean the house.3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers?1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.2. Magic plus super powers and a lot Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1146405328490253682006-04-30T06:55:00.000-07:002006-04-30T06:55:28.490-07:00To Be 6 Again (From Greta.)A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turningback and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday wasnot far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. "I'd liketo be six again, "she replied, still looking in the mirror.On the morning of her Birthday, he rose early, made her a nice big bowlof Lucky Charms, and then tookPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1146405116634462792006-04-30T06:51:00.000-07:002006-04-30T06:51:56.636-07:00$ 50 DOLLARS IS $50 DOLLARS(From Marian.)MORRIS AND HIS WIFE ESTHER WENT TO THE STATE FAIR EVERY YEAR.EVERY YEAR, MORRIS WOULD SAY, "ESTHER, I 'D LIKE TO RIDE IN THAT HELICOPTER." ESTHER ALWAYS REPLIED, " I KNOW MORRIS, BUT THAT HELICOPTER RIDE IS 50 DOLLARS AND 50 DOLLARS IS 50 DOLLARS." A FEW YEARS LATER, ESTHER AND MORRIS WENT TO THE FAIR. MORRIS SAID, "ESTHER, I'M 85 YEARS OLD. IF IPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1146404545763995202006-04-30T06:42:00.000-07:002006-04-30T06:42:25.763-07:00Irish king left a wide genetic trail...(From Mal.)Scientists say 3 million men are descended from Niall of the Nine Hostages...http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10892117/.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1146403851290105352006-04-30T06:30:00.000-07:002006-04-30T06:31:21.606-07:00Shopping(From Pamela.)My boss sent me this link and said she has saved a lot using this website:http://www.quicktoclick.com/.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1146321234268091992006-04-29T07:33:00.000-07:002006-04-29T07:33:54.270-07:00RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE(From Greta.)Editor's Note: All comments about the humour should be addressed to Greta.1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have alittle beverage, good food and companionship.She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.2. We also sleep in separate beds.Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1146320838653428962006-04-29T07:26:00.000-07:002006-04-29T07:27:18.653-07:00Great Site for New Yorkers(From Dan.)Yes, someone in the Bay State sent this:http://nyc.gov/html/records/html/taxphotos/home.shtml.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1146320572931346002006-04-29T07:22:00.000-07:002006-04-29T07:22:52.940-07:00Check this maze out (All it did was piss me off)(From Greta.)DO YOU HAVE THE HANDS OF A BRAIN SURGEON OR DO YOU WRITE WITH CRAYONS ? I TRIED THIS 5 TIMES AND COULDN'T GET PAST LEVEL 3. I CHEATED AND USED BOTH HANDS ON LEVEL 3. I JUST COULD NOT MAKE IT TO LEVEL 4. I DON'T THINK IT'S POSSIBLE ! TRY IT . IF ANYBODY MAKES IT TO 4 LET ME KNOW. I WANT YOU TO DO MY NEXT OPERATION IF I NEED ONE ! Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1137948716449586092006-01-22T08:51:00.000-08:002006-01-22T08:51:56.463-08:00New Jersey's New Slogan(From Dan.)Acting Governor Richard J. Codey announced the winner: "New Jersey: Come See for Yourself." Other finalists included: 1) "Most of Our Elected Officials Have Not Been Indicted" 2) "Jersey: Where Trash Gets Taken Out, but Not Women" 3) "Beaches. Syringes. What More Do You Want for Free?" 4) "You Can't Smell the Pollution in Most States" 5) "Jimmy Hoffa: SupportingPatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1137336801743496762006-01-15T06:53:00.000-08:002006-01-15T06:53:21.760-08:00Are You a Redneck or a Yankee?(From Dan.)To find out, go here:http://www.alphadictionary.com/articles/yankeetest.html .Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1136222966017860962006-01-02T09:29:00.000-08:002006-01-02T09:29:26.020-08:00Odd Facts (From Pamela.)* The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."* No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.* "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".* Almonds are members of the peach family.* Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.* Maine is the only state whose name is just one Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1136222753413737252006-01-02T09:25:00.000-08:002006-01-02T09:28:59.826-08:00Another Threat to US Work Productivity(From Tara.)Whack-a-Penguin, for fun!http://www.korenwolf.net/pingu/long-distance.html.Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1136135681031779862006-01-01T09:14:00.000-08:002006-01-01T09:14:41.033-08:00Being Irish - American means...(From Mal.)* you will never play professional basketball* you swear very well* at least one of your cousins holds political office* you think you sing very well* you have no idea how to make a long story short* you are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf* there isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killingsomeone* much of your food was Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1136135492167159822006-01-01T09:11:00.000-08:002006-01-01T09:11:32.180-08:00I'D LIKE THIS BACK IF IT APPLIES (From Pamela.)A little girl went to her bedroom and pulled a glass jelly jar from its hidingplace in the closet.She poured the change out on the floor and counted it carefully. Three times,even. The total had to be exactly perfect. No chance here for mistakes.Carefully placing the coins back in the jar and twisting on the cap, she slippedout the back door and madePatrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1136049259307263962005-12-31T09:14:00.000-08:002005-12-31T09:14:19.330-08:00Who Wants to be a Millionaire(From Greta.)A contestant on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $32,000 milestone money. As she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was nopushover.It was: Which of the following species of birds Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1136048467529718902005-12-31T09:00:00.000-08:002005-12-31T09:01:07.543-08:00THANK YOU...............(From Greta.)I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble tosend me your damn chain letters over the past few years. Yes, thank you,thank you, thank you from the bottom of what's left of my heart for makingme feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.Because of your concern...I no longer can drink Coca Cola becauseit can remove toilet stains.I no longer Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1135445205266224862005-12-25T00:01:00.000-08:002005-12-25T06:15:58.656-08:00MERRY CHRISTMAS!Merry Christmas! Some scenes from New York City to get everyone in the mood.(Courtesy of Ron, my former boss. Good Luck and Godspeed in his retirement. Yes, the pictures are repeats from the past, but they capture the spirit and felling like no others.)The Christmas Tree at Rockefeller CenterThe Christmas Tree at the New York Stock ExchangeThe New York Stock ExchangeThe Bull Is Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1135436054928432412005-12-24T06:53:00.000-08:002005-12-24T06:54:14.930-08:00New Jersey Slogan Search Bars Sarcasm(From Dan.)PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (Reuters) -- New Jersey, trying to overcome its reputation for corruption, traffic and toxic waste dumps, has rejected dozens of sardonic and sarcastic entries in a contest for a new tourist slogan. (Sorry, no link.)A list of five possible slogans released Wednesday leaves out:1) "New Jersey: We can always use another Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5296971.post-1135435667620847222005-12-24T06:46:00.000-08:002005-12-24T06:47:47.636-08:00CHRISTMAS COOKIE RECIPE(From Marian.)Try this recipe and let me know how your cookies turn out. Here's a great Christmas Cookie recipe that I thought you might wantto try this year:1 cup of water1 tsp. baking soda1 cup of sugar1 tsp. salt1 cup of brown sugar1 T lemon juice4 large eggs1 cup nuts2 cups of dried fruit1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla Sample the Cuervo to check quality.Take a large bowl,Patrickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00052094752214645678noreply@blogger.com